He is not just my husband, he is my HERO!

Once again I spent the day with my favorite person, Cecil.  It was another weekend filled with traveling to a Rugby match, but of course, there was no doubt I would be there on the sidelines cheering on my favorite  player.  Bragg Rugby won, 55 to 7!!!  Every game I sit on the edge of my seat yelling at opponents to get their grimy hands off my husband, but I soon realize it is Cecil that has initiated the grisly and ferocious attack.  Way to go Cecil!

Cecil in the Scrum.  It's a good
picture when his tongue hangs out!

Many of you might not know that it was Cecil that inspired me to begin this crazy quest of Mrs. North Carolina.  I am one lucky gal to have such an amazing man that stands behind and supports any dream I may dream up.  Granted, over the months I have wanted to start a clothing line, a boutique called Chutes and Boots, write a children's book, go to Law School and become a teacher.  I see that I am a little all over the board, so I decided to focus on this one goal and leave it at that.....for the time being (wink, wink) and Cecil is there with me 100 percent.

This week, Cecil's Battalion suffered a blow, they lost a very young solider to an unfortunate accident.  We attended his memorial service yesterday and I was overwhelmed with emotion and heartache.  I did not know the Specialist we were honoring personally, but I do have a soldier near and dear to my heart and could empathize with this man's young wife and family.  I looked over at Cecil sitting next to me in the pew with a small tear in his eye (he will deny that) and thought how lucky I was to have such a warm, caring, sometimes opinionated and stubborn, loving and handsome husband that would be protecting me and all of us in this time of war.  He is not just my husband, he is my HERO!

Life of an Army wife is not easy.  The training, the hours, the stress, the fatigue has really taken a toll,  not on Cecil, but on me.  I am not ashamed to say that in order to really adjust to this new life, I have been seeing a counselor here on post, someone I can talk to that really understands the side of the coin that I am living.  Military Life and Family Counseling has a stigma with families and soldiers, which I wish was not the case.....they are an invaluable service that will also be here to help me get through the upcoming predeployment, deployment, redeployment and then refit.  Sometimes the emotion gets to be too much and I break down.  I am so scared to have him leave, but I also know that he will return home safely and will make sure his men will return to their families.  Cecil is a Ranger and their code is to never leave a brother behind.  He lives the anthem everyday in not just his work, but his heart.

I challenge each of you, the next time you see a soldier in uniform, just say, "thank you".  No other words need to be said as these two small words mean so much.  Not everyday is sunshine and rainbows, this is a very hard life, but with all the tears comes a lot of laughter and I am blessed to laugh with my best friend everyday.  I only wish everyone could feel how it feels to be part of the Army family and feel the sense of pride I feel everyday.

I am so proud to be Cecil's wife, I am so proud Cecil picked me and I am so proud to live this life.  I only hope I can make him as proud as he has made me.

Make New Friends, But Keep The Old, One Is Silver And The Other's Gold!

Being alone in a new city, new life and new culture can do one of two things, it can scare the crap out of you and bring out your inner snail tendencies, or it will force you to go out and make a way for yourself. Always one to never know a stranger, I have been able to make some great contacts which have led to great friendships.....and this week, was no exception.

Shortly after moving to Southern Pines, it was easy to see that shopping and fashion are not mainstays in this small town.  Nordstrom was calling my name like a long-lost friend desperate to reconnect.  Go figure, the closest shopping, as I knew it and a Nordstrom, was over an hour away in Durham.  The distance would never stop me from visiting a long-lost friend and Nordstrom was just that to me.  I decided to spend an entire day meandering aimlessly around the Streets at Southpoint and of course started at Nordstrom.  As I walking with that bounce in my step that magically appears as I make my way to the shoe section and soon the makeup department, I was approached by a bubbly and beautiful woman that worked for Trish McEvoy.  Being a Trish fan myself, I decided to stay and play around with some new looks with my new friend, Caroline Winchester.  Caroline is a renowned make-up artist for Trish McEvoy and she and I hit it off like peas and carrots.

Just a few of my favorite Indy girls and my new sister!

Caroline has become my savior of daily life, as soon as we met, she was stuffing my hands with business cards for a dermatologist, dentist, facialist and hairstylist.  If it was not for this lady, I would not have felt as though my ability to narrow down and seek out the best of the best would be possible.  Caroline is the first person to give you the jacket off her back if needed and is so willing to help in any way possible, even me, a stranger!

Caroline, knowing my past in pageants from our initial conversation, introduced me to a fabulous girl named Jocelyn.  A former pageant winner and makeup artist, Jocelyn and I too have become fast friends.  I was fortunate enough spend time with Jocelyn over salads and ice water with lemon this week and really picked her brain about pageants in North Carolina.  Following in Caroline's footsteps, Jocelyn has given me great insight and contacts that will allow me to put my best foot forward as I prepare for Mrs. North Carolina.  Jocelyn and I have more in common than either of us imagined and sharing stories with her and hearing of her adjustments as an Army wife, have helped me see further into the complex mentality of our Army husbands.  Thank you Jocelyn!

I am so blessed to have met new friends....but still, I miss my Indianapolis girls more than words can say.  I hope each of you thanks a friend today for being there by your side and thank God above for bringing new ones into your life unexpectedly, everyday.

I Was My Own Worst Enemy......

Food?  How did food become so many things to me, it was my center of social situations, it was how I dealt with the stress of moving and getting married and leaving the Gianna I knew back in Indianapolis, it was my entertainment when I was bored, it was my comfort when I was sad, it was my reward when I was happy or when I felt accomplished.  Does this sound familiar to any of you out there?  I started to wonder, was I controlling my food, or was my food controlling me?

After weeks of intense workouts and not seeing any fat loss, my trainer Al, was confident that my lack of visible success was due to my diet.  I was sabotaging my hard work with my eating patterns and my choices.  I sat down and really looked at my dietary habits and realized, I was my own WORST enemy!

The new look of the pantry

When Cecil and I finally moved into our home, I was so excited to bust out my culinary skills on him as he joked I only knew how to make one dish, Salmon cakes with spinach and dill sauce.  Apparently, I only cooked for Cecil twice while in Indianapolis and both times I cooked Salmon.  I vehemently deny this and was determined to prove I was worthy of my Italian heritage.  I began cooking almost every night and I am not just talking about the main dish.  I prepared an appetizer, gourmet salad, the main course, sides and sometimes dessert!   This was all fine and dandy, except for one sticking point, Cecil was never home before 8:00pm.  That was my downfall.....I would barely eat all day and therefore my metabolism would get sluggish and ineffective, then when Cecil would finally be home to join me for dinner and we would have very little time to eat before it was time for Cecil to then, hit the hay.  

Fudge Ice Cream, really?

Our schedule was insane, and not something my body was used to.  Our routine calls for the alarm to go off for Cecil between 4:00-4:30am, alarm for me at 5:30am (although Cecil swears all I do all day is sleep, whatever!), work, home by 8:00pm, dinner until 8:30pm, then bed between 8:45-9:00pm.  The life of a Company Commander!  I never have been keen on going to sleep right after eating dinner and Cecil's body can handle this schedule better than mine.  I tried to resist bed at 9:00pm, but Cecil is very persuasive.  It was either go to sleep with Cecil or miss spending quiet time with my husband.  Every night, I chose my husband.  

Does that look like stuffed shells?

Well, today, that all changes.  I have been boasting about my diet plan and it finally began today.  Nutrisystem, here I come.  I have heard some amazing success stories from family and friends and of course, Marie Osmond, so I decided in the pit of my frustration to give it a try.  Along with the success stories, I had also been warned about the horrible taste of the food.  I swore the reason it worked so well was because no one could actually stomach the taste to get it down.  I have to say, I was wrong.....this stuff was actually good.  Now, compared to the photos on the packaging it looks like dog food, but it had great flavor.  The best part is....I am so full, it was hard to get all the food in.  I have never eaten this much in one day since I used to hide cakes in my car in high school, haha.

Hey diet, track this!

I admit I was skeptical about what this would actually taste like, but I am excited to see what the other dishes have in store for my taste buds.  Today it was oat cereal, ham and been soup, stuffed shells, salads with balsamic vinegar, a ton of fruit and veggies and ice cream...tomorrow, who knows what will be on the menu!  I feel that I have all the pieces finally on the table and ready to complete the puzzle of the improved, me.  

Lessons Learned.....

Everyday we come across people that say or do something that makes a little light in our heads go, ding!  It will either spark an idea, a memory or it will be a phrase that goes straight to your heart and you have an, AHA moment.  We learn lessons everyday, whether we realize it or not.  My lessons in life have been for example....

1.  Make sure your dress is completely out of your tights before you walk back to your office (true story), 2.  Do not allow Cecil to have control of the car window lock button after eating Mexican food,
3.  Car windows do not make you invisible, people can still see pick your nose (listen up all you men out there),
4.  Always check your kitchen sink hand sprayer to make sure your husband has not secured with invisible tape in hopes you have to rinse or clean something right after you put on your favorite outfit (another true story).  Today for me was no exception, it was not a humorous lesson, but a life lesson that hit me profoundly.

In search for the perfect baby gift for a friend's upcoming shower in Indianapolis, congratulations Ben and Miranda......I remembered a lady that I had met at a Pinehurst street fair last Fall and the amazing custom made baby clothes she constructs from vintage quilts and bedspreads.  She is a really fun, upbeat, cool mother of two beautiful girls and while I was chatting with her in her foyer after designing an outfit, she told me the story of a neighbor who's family was devastated by her child being diagnosed with a rare disease.  I too have had a long battle of my own health issues and I always thought I handled everything with positivity and grace.  I always told myself, "I have this disorder, but it doesn't have me".  Somedays, that positivity and grace goes out the window when I think of all the daily life errands and obligations we all put upon ourselves to accomplish.  Not this lady, she has an outlook on life that I have now vowed to adapt to ensure I never lose my positivity when the day holds more than I feel I can accomplish.  No longer will I say, "I have to go to the grocery, I have to go to the gym, or the bank or the cleaners", I will know say, "I get to go to the grocery, I get to go to the gym, the bank or the cleaners".

I feel that way too often we see life as a struggle and as a list of chores we must finish to feel productive; in actuality, life is a gift and positivity is contagious.

Just a little saying to leave you with, today is a gift, that is why they call it the present.

My Version of Ladies' Night!

All ready to go!

After my post last night, I began thinking about all the inspiring relationships I get to build here at Fort Bragg.  As the wife of a Company Commander and senior leader, I have the chance to interact with some of the most amazing women here on post.  One of the groups I have the privilege to belong to is a "coffee" group for senior leaders' wives.  It is at our Battalion level and includes wives with very diverse military careers.....we have newlyweds, like me, women that have just succeeded through their first deployment and women that have been in the military for as long as they can remember.  Our fearless leader, Debbie, is our BCs' wife and she is a mentor and role model to us all, what a spectacular lady.

Tonight was not just our monthly meeting of the "coffee" group, it was the first I have had the honor to host.  Cecil and I live about 30 miles further from post than most and I was humbled by the amount of ladies that made the trip out to our home to spend the evening in fellowship.  We laughed, we ate, and talked, we ate, we did crafts, we ate......get the picture :-)  I no longer have my single ladies' nights, since leaving Indianapolis, so I look forward to these gatherings to help fill the void from my dear and close friends.

Let the food frenzy, BEGIN!

Oh, I almost forgot.... to fill you in a little on the path to the pageant, since that is how this whole blog idea was conceived and I know you are all dying to hear about my progress.....I got back into the gym today after being away for three days and it was the best morning I have had in a while.  I needed my workout and I needed to get out a lot of frustration and pent up energy.  Tomorrow will be some of the same and then I am heading to Durham to have lunch with a fellow pageant girl, Jocelyn.

Tomorrow also marks the last day of my dietary freedom, the new diet was delivered today and starting Thursday.......well, I will fill you in more on Thursday!

Good night and sleep tight!

Army Wife, Army Life

Who knew that one day, I would end up in my own episode of Lifetime's Army Wives......NOT ME; but that is exactly what my life has become.  I never in a million years thought that I would end up falling head over heels for a man that put his life in danger everyday to protect the freedom of family, friends and strangers alike.  I always imagined my life in a big city suburb with 2.3 children, a husband with a nine to five job and a home so perfect that I would make June Clever look like Anna Nicole Smith.  Life does not always end up the way you picture it, especially when you are young and impressionable watching Disney movies awaiting the arrival of your prince....sometimes, it is even better.

As most of you know, I am a newlywed who's married to not just my husband, but to a new way of life that demands more from me as a person than any role or job I have ever held.  I am one of the few, I am one of the proud, I am an Army wife.  I did not know what to expect when Cecil and I moved to Fort Bragg, NC and I left my career, my home, family and friends behind.  It has not all been roses and rainbows, it has been a lot of aches and a lot of pains, but it is a life that gives you more pride than anything in the world ever could.  I am surrounded by women that are the strongest women I have ever met, second to my mother and grandmother.  I am surrounded by women that raise their children as single parents while their husband are off training or in theater.  I am surrounded by women that make me push myself to be the best wife I can be to my husband in order to keep the home fires burning when that task is placed upon me.  I am surrounded by women that have lost their spouses, to this war, that have made it their mission to help women like me cherish each minute I am lucky enough to spend with my husband.  I am surrounded by women that I respect and admire.....how lucky am I.

Cecil's Change of Command Ceremony Reception

While Cecil is preparing his men to be ready for combat and training for their next deployment in February 2012, I have been blessed to have made fast friends with our Colonels' wives and Generals' wives and to be having experiences I never dreamed possible.  I have women that are trusting me to lead their families while my husband leads theirs and I have opportunities to leave my unique mark on the lives of so many, how lucky am I.

Everyday I find a little piece of me that was not there the day before, a piece of me that is stronger than I thought I could be and wiser than I thought I was.  I am finding a drive and determination that I never felt before.  I may not have the same life path or experiences as Claudia Joy, Roxy, Pamela or Denise, but I have the life of an Army wife and I have no idea where this adventure will lead me, but I know I am living the role I was destined to live and I am excited to see what each day has in store for me and my Army Life.

Bitching Beauty Queen.....

That is exactly what I am calling myself these days.  As a former beauty queen, I am allowed to use the label.  So, how did I come to the realization that I earned the title of "bitching beauty queen"??  Cecil and I just returned from a 30 hour trip to Savannah, Georgia to support the Fort Bragg Rugby team, which placed third in Division I..so proud.  During this trip I realized I need to take a long hard look at my "attitudes" and how this "trail to the tiara" has the potential to make me somewhat of a monster.  Not a monster as in green with bulging muscles (I wish) and an affinity to breaking things and scaring women and small children, but the hormonal, testy and emotional tyrant that I was this weekend.

Putting such a hard goal in front of one's self, such as changing your entire body image on the inside and out, can take a toll on you in the early stages.  I have become so addicted to my workout routine that not working out seems to be my hormonal trigger.  I remember Cecil saying this same thing to me when he misses his workouts, but apparently to him, that excuse only works when you have more testosterone than estrogen.  I told him watch out, I am Italian and I have had a fuzzy lip since I was 5.  Hello, testosterone!

I feel extremely remorseful that my emotional roller coaster this weekend prevented me and Cecil from having an incredible time like we had planned.  He is so understanding and I am grateful for that.  This weekend, I cried, I pouted, yes I pouted like a 2 year old that was told, "no more cheerios" and I really looked hard at being the best person I can be.  I need to find an outlet to channel frustrations, esteem issues, anxiety and mostly fear of failure.  Fear of failing this transformation has me petrified, like a rock!

I learned a lot this weekend about the person that I do not want to be and the person that needs to find the esteem that she once had when she was just Miss Allen County and Miss Indiana State Fair.

No more being a bitching beauty queen!

I have a lot to "lose".....

In order for this journey to the crown of Mrs. North Carolina to be worth it, I have to be 110% open and honest with all of you and with myself.  Since I have moved to North Carolina and trying to find my way in my new life, I have gained...you guessed it, WEIGHT!  Approximately, 25 pounds!!!!  I could make excuses and blame certain recent events for my weight gain, but it is better to just nip it now and nip it for good.  

It strikes me though as funny that I am able to fit into my size 6 jeans and small/medium clothes (ok, maybe they are a tad tighter than normal); however, what I see in the mirror and on the scale should make this impossible!!  When I tell people what I really weigh, they are always shocked....hello, have you seen my thighs!!!???  

My Trainer, Al Coleman

During this blog, I will post weekly, at the top of the page, my progress and my frustrations with losing the weight and getting into tip top shape.  I won't lie, I have a lot of work to do and a lot to lose!  

First check in.....man, I feel like Bridget Jones in the opening scene of Bridget Jones's Diary:

Date:  March 11, 2011

Current Weight: 150lbs (Yep, believe it or not, a woman admitting her real weight for the world to see)

Dress Size: 6/8

Workout:  This week I have been doing cardio and lifting for 2 hours a day, 7 days a week!  I have an amazing trainer at Gold's Gym here in Southern Pines named Al Coleman.....The BOMB!

Getting Crazy at Gold's!

Weekly Triumph:  I am so proud of myself for getting to the gym every morning by 7:00am and knocking out my training.  They say, the hardest part is showing up.  I love the elliptical, I love Zumba classes and I love the bike.  I feel energized and so amazing....it feels so great to hear my husband tell me how great I am doing and that he can really see a difference.

Weekly Tribulation:   OMG, how can this be....after weeks of starting my workouts.....I have not even lost a pound!!!  I am so frustrated that before I started this blog, I was already working out and weighed 144 pounds.  I can see a difference and I know I shouldn't care what numbers say on a scale.  After Al saw my frustration, he made me really take a hard look at my diet.  I have always been that girl that could lose weight very fast.....I always did it the wrong way, but I could always lose weight.  Now, I need to take a totally different and smart approach.  

My Torture Temple!!

With my first week under my belt I am excited for my upcoming diet plan (which I am keeping you in suspense about until next week) and to continue my workouts.  Chick-fil-A, I have loved our affair, but we can no longer go on this way........

This weekend, Cecil and I will be traveling to Savannah as Bragg Rugby competes in a tournament Saturday and Sunday.  I am little nervous about leaving my routine and the gym for two days, but supporting him is the best part of my weekends!  I guess cheerleading will have to burn a lot of calories.

GO BRAGG RUGBY!  

Well, here goes nothing......

HOLY COW, what did I get myself into??  Here I am, sitting on my couch and wondering if I am doing this blog to create one more means of motivation to achieving my goal, or doing this to prove to my husband that I CAN follow thru with blogging.  I am inclined to say the latter, but I am going to convince myself it is the former.

So, to give you a little history and insight into ME, I am a 34 year old, newlywed to an amazing man named Cecil Wolberton.  After a whirlwind romance, I am a proud Army Wife and volunteer that left my hustle and bustle life in the big city of Indianapolis, family and amazing friends to be with the love of my life.  We recently moved to the beautiful state of North Carolina where my husband is a member of Fort Bragg's elite 82nd Airborne as a commander of an infantry company.

After our move, I started to realize that I have a new life to build and no idea how to blend that with life as I knew it.  My husband has been trying to help me find ME, as employment in the small town we live in has been like finding the proverbial needle in a haystack......It is HE that has given me the courage and the means to do something that I have not even thought about since I was 17 years old, entering a PAGEANT.....I am a former state pageant winner that never in her wildest dreams thought she would be parading around in a bathing suit, in heels, on stage at the age of 34; but here goes nothing.

Just the thought of parading around in a bathing suit at this age, with recent lack of exercise and dimples, that are not on my cheeks, has me petrified.  My husband believes with all of his heart that this goal is something that I can achieve with hard work and dedication and I am starting to believe it myself.  This blog will follow my triumphs, trials and tribulations, my motivation and lack thereof for the brutal ritual we call exercise and all the preparation that will go into me competing for the title of Mrs. North Carolina.

I have never blogged before and have a friend that has a wonderful blog, The Adventures of Lesalina (check it out, it is amazing!!), that is comical and informative and witty all at the same time.  I have no idea what elements I hope to incorporate into my personal blog, but I hope whomever out there in the space known as the world wide web, will find enjoyment in what they read regardless if I am witty, boring, emotional, frustrated or excited!

I bet many of you are wondering why I am even blogging!  I know I am asking myself that same question and have procrastinated even starting this blog out of fear of putting it all out there.  But, here I am, a blog virgin and willing to pour my heart and soul into one goal...........getting that tiara.

Please, be my guest and join me on my journey as I reach for the title of Mrs. North Carolina.  I have a lot of work ahead of me, so strap in, it is going to be a bumpy ride.

TIARA, HERE I COME!